G’mar Hatima Tova. It’s so wonderful to see every one of you on the holiest day of the year. Parents reunited with children, grandparents with grandchildren, uncles and aunts with nephews and nieces, cousins with one another.
For those with whom I have not yet had the chance to meet in person, I look forward to getting to know you over the course of 5784 and I also hope to deepen my connections with those who I had the privilege of meeting last year. With our new team in place, most notably with the arrival of Chazzan Noah Rachels but also recognizing the extraordinary work of our staff and volunteers, we’re building something special at Mosaic Law Congregation, and I’m tremendously excited to begin the new year.
In 5784 we can say, “This Year in Jerusalem!” Mosaic Law Congregation will be doing its first congregational Israel trip in over a decade, and I hope you will be able to join us. Please take one of the flyers outside with trip details and sign up after Yom Tov. You can direct any questions about the trip to Bebe Halimi (our President’s wife) or me. I have some extra flyers up here if someone did not get one and would like to join us on the trip.
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I grew up going to my dad’s parents’ house every Sunday for lunch at noon. I also remember Seder at their house. Soon after my Bar Mitzvah, because of a family feud I stopped having contact with my dad’s family. I only saw them at the funerals of both my dad’s parents. Two decades later I contacted members of my dad’s family on Facebook and was able to restart a relationship with them. One of my cousins is a Reform rabbi; another made Aliyah and is a history professor. It was nice to reconnect to those with whom I had no personal animosity yet with whom I lost contact so many years prior.
What if someone wronged us directly? In such cases it is difficult to make amends. A case in point in the Talmud regards Rabban Gamliel, who publicly humiliated Rabbi Yehoshua on three separate occasions. The other sages felt three strikes and you’re out. They deposed Rabban Gamliel as Nasi, President, of the Beit Midrash, the House of Study. When Rabban Gamliel saw his successor make the Beit Midrash more egalitarian and as a result, numerous difficulties were solved, he realized that he erred. It is there that the story picks up as follows:
Rabban Gamliel said to himself: ‘Since the people are following Rabbi Yehoshua, apparently, he was right. Therefore, it would be appropriate for me to go and appease Rabbi Yehoshua.’ When he reached Rabbi Yehoshua’s house, he saw that the walls of his house were black. Rabban Gamliel said to Rabbi Yehoshua in wonderment: ‘From the walls of your house, it is apparent that you are a blacksmith’; until then, he had no idea that Rabbi Yehoshua was forced to engage in that arduous trade in order to make a living. Rabbi Yehoshua said to him: ‘Woe unto a generation that you are its leader as you are unaware of the difficulties of Torah scholars, how they make a living and how they feed themselves.’[1]
Rabban Gamliel was a member of the elite. As the Nasi, he had contact with the Roman emperor. Yet with his high position, he became obtuse to the needs of those who he served. He had no idea that Rabbi Yehoshua had to work an arduous job, nor did he know of the sufferings of others. Had he been born a couple centuries prior, he would not have known that the great Hillel the Elder could not afford the entrance fee to attend the Beit Midrash and had to go up to its roof in the snow to hear words of Torah![2] Rabban Gamliel realized that he was in the wrong-there was so much he was unaware of-and now he had to ask for forgiveness.
Rabban Gamliel said to Rabbi Yehoshua: ‘I insulted you, forgive me.’ Rabbi Yehoshua paid him no attention and did not forgive him. He asked him again: ‘Do it in deference to my father,’ Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel, who was one of the leaders of Israel at the time of the destruction of the Temple. He was appeased.
Forgiveness is merited not because of Rabban Gamliel, who humiliated Rabbi Yehoshua three times, but rather on account of his father. At times when we have wronged another and cannot obtain forgiveness, perhaps we can say, ‘Please forgive me so that our children do not have to fight with one another.’ We don’t want a feud like the Montagues and the Capulets, where no one knows the source of the conflict-only to hate the other.
The lesson to be learned on the holiest night of the year is to see if we can find it in our hearts to make amends with others-or, if another comes to us genuinely remorseful for a past wrong, if we can forgive them. This never means to force forgiveness, as authenticity is a chief value when it comes to making amends. Also, there are some things which we might justifiably feel can never be forgiven. With that being said, I challenge each of us to find space to forgive past slights and transgressions, both committed by others and by ourselves (the latter being often the hardest to forgive) so that we can turn over a new leaf in 5784. If something just occurred to us now, let us remember that it is never too late. The gates of repentance are always open, and the season for atonement was extended by the rabbis until the end of Sukkot. Gmar Hatima Tova-may each one of us write for ourselves a good signature in this new year.
[1] Babylonian Talmud Tractate Berachot 28a
[2] Yoma 35b
Meet Rabbi Herman 