One of the challenges with Parshat Ki Tisa is that it deals with turning away from the proper path rather than turning towards it. After our ancestors made the golden calf, G-d said to Moses “They have been quick to turn aside from the way that I enjoined upon them.”[1] Because they turned away from G-d, G-d turned away from them, proclaiming “I see that this is a stiff-necked people. Now, let Me be, that My anger may blaze forth against them and that I may destroy them…”[2] Moses, however, intervenes, refusing to let G-d destroy Israel. He says words which we repeat every fast day: שוב מחרון אפך והנחם על-הרעה לעמך; “Turn away from Your blazing anger and renounce the plan to punish Your people.”[3] In so doing, Moses makes two very important points: Israel remains G-d’s people as opposed to a “stiff-necked” people independent from G-d, and G-d does not need to turn away from Israel just because they have turned away from Him at this particular moment.

The term “turn away” struck me because of the work done by marriage therapist Dr. John Gottman. Dr. Gottman writes that the married couples he see who turn towards one another at times of conflict stay together 86% of the time, whereas those who turn away from each other stay together only 33% of the time.[4]  In our tradition, G-d and Israel are a couple, bound together by a ברית, or covenant, just as a married couple is bound by a Ketubah. In our portion because Israel has forsaken its end of the bargain, worshiping other gods, G-d is going to follow suit and strike them from the earth-that is until Moses intervenes. He says to G-d, ‘calm down; take a chill pill,’ and he gets G-d to refrain from forsaking the covenant. וינחם ה על-הרעה אשר דבר לעשות לעמו, “G-d forsook the evil that G-d had said he would do to His people.”[5]

There are two reasons to speak about this today. First we are celebrating the milestone 60^th anniversary of Ed and Gail Fishkin. This power couple always turns toward each other out of love and affection. Of course like every couple, especially good, old-fashioned New Yorkers, they argue with each other as well as with me at Shabbat Torah Study. However, that’s what makes things entertaining. We should all learn from Gail and Ed to be selfless, generous and of course have an acerbic sense of humor and not be afraid to challenge others.

The second is to celebrate the baby naming of Leona Eli McCracken, daughter of Sara Harbarger and James McCracken. Today Leona was given the Hebrew nameדבורה  סימא, after Sara’s maternal grandmother Elsie and great aunt Dotty. The name Sima means precious, or treasure. Your little 3 month old is truly a treasure who blesses you each and every day with her smile and her cooing. Every time you are stressed, please turn towards this beautiful little face; it should put you at ease. Devorah is the name of our people’s greatest prophetess, who foresaw the defeat of the Canaanites and their general Sisera. In modern Hebrew it means bee. James and Sara, we hope and pray that your little bee will showcase her feistiness and strength, in the example of prophetess Deborah.

Ed and Gail-I know that your love for one another will continue to grow stronger. James and Sara-I know with the new addition of סימא דבורה that your love for one another will blossom in new ways and your family life will flourish.

My prayer for you, Gail and Ed, Sara and James, is that you always turn towards each other and towards your loved ones, recognizing that your family bond and your partnership supersedes any specific issue at hand. Mazal Tov on the celebration of your anniversary and your baby naming. As we celebrate here at Mosaic Law Congregation, let’s sing siman tov u’mazal tov.

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[1] Exodus 32:8

[2] Exodus 32:9-10

[3] Exodus 32:12

[4] https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/

[5] Exodus 32:14