Have you ever felt that you were not worthy? Maybe it was for being given an honor or being promoted to a position. If so, you’re not alone, as that is how our ancestor Aaron felt when he was chosen to become the High Priest.

       When Aaron was going to go offer sacrifices at the tabernacle as High Priest, he was ashamed. Aaron was embarrassed and so When he was told “approach the altar…and atone on your own behalf and on behalf of the people,”[1] the medieval commentator Rashi speculates that he did not move.[2]

        Why didn’t Aaron move forward to approach the altar? Perhaps because one of the sacrifices he was to offer was a calf [3] as a purification offering to atone for the sin of the golden calf. This is the only time a calf is offered on the altar. The Midrash asserts that Moses had to reassure Aaron, saying “come forward-it is for this reason that you were chosen.”[4]

       Why was Aaron chosen to lead Israel as High Priest despite his making the golden calf? Noam Elimelech, the second century Hasidic commentator, asserts that this is the mark of the Tzadik-to “Always see in his eyes sins on every aspect that leads towards sin (places where it is easy to sin) and always submit and lower himself and in front of the masses.”[5] Because Aaron saw the imperfections within himself and recognized the mistake he had made, he was precisely the right person to become High Priest.

The point of Noam Elimelech’s teaching is that Aaron being mindful of what he did wrong prepares him for being the High Priest. Unfortunately, we see that Aaron’s sons-Nadav and Avihu-were not so mindful and underwent a terrible fate, offering a “foreign fire” and being consumed by fire.[6]

Of course, there is a shadow side of this-being so focused on one’s imperfections that it paralyzes you from taking constructive action. The early Mussar movement, especially from the school of Khelm, focused on self-improvement through being critical of all one’s mistakes and limitations. That approach can cause shame and fear of making a mistake and the consequences that would bring. When one is constantly afraid of messing up, it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Rather, if one is hesitant because of past transgression, like Aaron, yet moves forward with gentle encouragement, like that given by Moses, they are more likely to succeed. While fulfilling the maxim of being careful before we act or speak, we cannot forget the reason we are here in the first place and the Hasidic ideal that each of us has a special mission to carry out.[7]

As we come out of Passover, it is my hope and prayer that each of us channels any feelings of shame, inadequacy as to our capabilities or whether we can fulfill our role, into living our lives with the feeling that we have been chosen for a special purpose. Aaron had trepidation in not feeling that he was the right person to lead Israel as the High Priest. His hesitancy coupled by his coming forward to atone for his past mistake and turn over a new leaf, is precisely the reason why he was the right choice.

[1] Leviticus 9:7

[2] Rashi on Leviticus 9:7 ד”ה קרב אל המזבח

[3] Leviticus 9:2. See Rashi there.

[4] Rashi on Leviticus 9:7 based off Sifra Miluim 1:8

[5] Noam Elimelech, Shemini Comment 1

[6] Leviticus 10:1-2

[7] See Netivot Shalom Lech Lecha